No Sound But The Wind
by queenbellaloca
Summary: An Emmett/Jasper fic. Follows Jasper through the trials and tribulations of his relationship with Emmett. AH, slightly OOC. Rated T just in case for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I bring you my first ever fic written alone, as well as my first ever srs bsns fic.  
I got the idea from listening to "No Sound But The Wind" by The Editors on repeat. Because I'm emo like that. The first paragraph is kind of a prologue, set at a completely different time than the rest of the chapter/story. Foreshadowing? You'll just have to wait and see.**

**I still don't own Twilight, and for that we are ALL probably very thankful.  
I don't own the song "No Sound But The Wind", The Editors do. I'm just borrowing it because it is absolutely perfect for this story. No really, you should listen to it, if you already haven't. It makes me misty. *sniff sniff*  
ANYWAY! Enough rambling, and I hope you guys enjoy...**

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**NO SOUND BUT THE WIND: ****CHAPTER ONE.**

_We can never go home  
We no longer have one  
I'll help you carry the load  
I'll carry you in my arms  
The kiss of the snow  
The crescent moon above us  
Our blood is cold  
And we're alone  
But I'm alone with you_

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_It was cold that day. The wind nipped at our skin and threatened to ensnare us in its icy grip. It lashed at us menacingly, marking our cheeks with a telling cherry red. I could hear it howling at us, snarling with its wintery teeth; telling us to get inside, to safety, to warmth. But I didn't care. Inside, I was warm. I had Emmett. I didn't care how long we had been standing there, or how long I'd have to. All I knew is that I would, until I could hold on no longer._

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I met him at school. I'd seen him, once before, the previous summer. He was with a girl. They were laughing and kissing and play-wrestling with each other. I didn't even know who he was, or why it bothered me… But for some reason, I was devastated. I knew, from that fleeting moment, that I could love this man, had he given me the chance. But how could he? He didn't know who I was, just the same as I didn't know him. I felt silly, pining for some guy I'd only seen for a few minutes from feet away, but at the same time, I couldn't let it go. Even the fact he was with a girl didn't stop me. I knew there was little to no chance that he could be gay, yet I pined away. Maybe I was naïve, I don't know. What I did know, is that this person meant something to me, and I had no clue why. I went home and wrote about it in my journal that night. Eventually months passed, and I forgot entirely about the non-encounter. Until that day.

He strolled into that classroom and I was immediately taken aback. I knew instantly that this was the same guy I saw that summer. Except here he was, right in front of me, and now I could see just how good looking he really was. Tall, dark hair. Muscles even a professional weight-lifter would be jealous of. Big, wide smile all aglow with bright white teeth, and the cutest little dimples on either side. He had the kindest eyes I'd ever seen and I swore I was going to melt into my seat if I continued looking. I kept looking, though, and I don't think I had a choice in the matter. I was mesmerized. And then it happened. His gaze fell upon mine, and he flashed that huge, gorgeous grin, and he winked. He fucking winked! I was in heaven. Sitting in the worst class ever invented, and I was in heaven. Social Studies Freaking Heaven. Who knew?

I tried to hold back my grin as much as I could. I was ecstatic, I won't lie. But I tried to discourage myself by thinking that maybe he was just a friendly guy. Maybe he winked at everyone. I thought that there was absolutely no way that this guy would wander into my life just like magic and everything would work out just like so.

But I was wrong.

After class I packed up all my books and waited for the class to filter out before I bothered. I'd been trampled over a couple times, especially at a time like this: the end of the school day on a Friday. Everyone trying to get somewhere, whether it's home to do homework, to a boyfriend or girlfriend's house, or to some random party I was never invited to. Since I came out, I lost a lot of my so-called "friends". The only ones who stuck around were Angela and Jacob. Truthfully, the only one I really had was Angela. Jacob went to school on the rez. We'd been friends since second grade, so he really wasn't shocked to hear my revelation. Angela was one of those really nice girls that accepts everyone, no matter their differences. She had friends from all ends of the spectrum: Bookworms, like herself; popular kids, gothic kids, stoner kids. I guess I fit in to the "gay kids" scheme of things. I exited the classroom, books in tow, and was startled to see the as-yet-unnamed crush waiting around the corner. I smiled shyly, and ducked my head back down to hide my embarrassment/shyness and tried to keep going, but I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jerked up, surprised, and stared up at him with wide eyes. There was no way in _hell_ this was actually happening. And then I thought the worst: He must have found out I'm a fag and probably wants to beat me up. It was silly of me to think this massive beast of a man wouldn't want to give me a massive swirly. The guy was built like a brick shithouse! Nothing better than to be beat up by the guy you fantasized about all summer. Nope, it just doesn't get any better than that.

"Hi. I'm Emmett." was all he said, and raised his hand. I winced, but quickly realized he was simply holding it up for a high-five. I reciprocated the gesture, and he laughed at my being "jumpy". Could you blame me? I'm not exactly a tiny person but I'm mincemeat compared to this guy. "Wanna go for a smoke?" he questioned, and I nodded, even though I'm not a smoker. I figured, what the hell. If he is going to beat me up, then I've learnt my lesson and will vow to never be so stupid again. And by some miraculous happening if he just wants to hang out, then that's even better. I hoped and prayed with all of my being that it would be the latter.

So far, it was. He also wasn't smoking a cigarette either, like I thought. Turns out I was all sorts of wrong today. I rather liked it. I'd never smoked much weed before, maybe a couple times just sitting around with Jacob on the beach, chugging beers I stole from my dad. But I figured I definitely needed some today, to help get my nerves back on track. Boy, was that a bad idea. I'd never handled my weed very well. It totally slipped my mind, because I was always with Jacob, and he didn't care or even notice how ripped I was. Except for one time I was high as all hell, standing in the middle of the beach, but I thought I was leaning against a tree. He'll never let me live that one down now. But this time I was with Emmett, the guy I'd dreamed about all summer yet never met until just now. What a first impression. I was giggling like an insane asylum escapee who just inhaled too much helium. That thought alone spurred another long chain of giggles. I'm sure Emmett was starting to question whether I was in fact a boy, or rather a bubbly blushing teenaged girl who just received her first kiss and is now gushing to all her friends about it. I decided I didn't need to know the answer and just took another hoot anyway.

It appeared to work out for the better, as he miraculously asked me if I wanted to go out for coffee sometime. I just gawked at him with a puzzled expression on my face, which I'm sure to him looked like I was mentally challenged or something. Then he said, "What? Can't a guy grab a coffee with a friend?" and he flashed me that deadly smile and winked again. And reminded me I still hadn't spoken a word in over a half hour, nor had I even introduced myself. I fell what must have been a shade of the brightest red one's cheeks could probably be. I was so embarrassed. Mortified, actually. I couldn't believe the day had gone so wrong yet still manage to turn out like this. Then I realized he was still waiting for my answer, and I turned an impossible twenty shades redder. He laughed at me again. Thanks for boosting my self esteem, bucko. I finally responded with a very bleak "Sorry. I'm J-Jasper. And yeah, that'd be cool." And smiled up into those big gorgeous eyes of his. I think I drowned in them. He laughed at me once again, a deep guffaw, making me feel like an infinitesimal speck, and slapped me on the back. He got me to write my number on a piece of paper, and handed me his. "See ya tomorrow sometime, buddy!" he said, waving, as he started heading home.

Yeah. Yeah I will.

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**So. Wasn't too bad, was it?  
Sorry it was so short. I swear it looked a mile longer on word. I promise the next one will be longer. At least if you liked it. If not, then I'm probably going to go hide in a corner of my room and cry for days. Or just go all OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER JANUARY a la our favorite vamp enthusiast Bella. So please review and gimme the verdict!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So. SOME people are pushy, no names needed *cough*LadyEmJazz*cough* and wanted me to post the next chapter like, 2 days ago. I WAS going to wait for a few more days but.. I guess I'm feeling generous. DON'T EXPECT ANY MORE FAVORS, YOU. *shakes fist***

**I still don't own Twilight, or the song used in the title. Not for lack of trying. I could use some extra cash.**

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I awoke in the morning the same way I always do: feeling like shit. I stretched out my arms and let out a huge yawn while glancing at my alarm clock. Fuck, 8am on a Saturday? Seriously? I rubbed my eyes, wondering why the fuck… Oh. My internal body clock was excited for the big date today. I shook my head. Stupid asshole. It's not even a date. It's just two guys going for a coffee. That's not a date, is it? But I couldn't help but smile to myself as I wandered sleepily over to the washroom to brush my teeth. Now it was just a matter of finding something to do in the next few hours before Emmett called. If he even would. I was still afraid he might have just been playing me like a fiddle. He'd probably be out doing something cool, having forgotten entirely about me while I'm sitting around at home waiting beside the telephone like a loser.

And then my phone rang at approximately 8:39am. Not that I was sitting around at home waiting beside the telephone like a loser. "Hey," I said, as nonchalantly as I possibly could while squealing like a little girl on the inside. I hear that all-too-familiar-for-having-just-met-the-fucker voice apologize profusely for calling so early, and how he hopes he didn't wake me up. I had no choice but to smile, while absentmindedly picking some lint off my sweater, and tell him he didn't. I lied, and said I just woke up like, minutes before he called so as to not sound like a loser who wakes up at 8am on a Saturday, but he apologized again anyway. I knew I was going to fall hard for this guy. It crossed my mind that this was dangerous territory to be getting into, and that I was probably just going to get hurt, but in this moment I didn't give two shits. We agreed to meet at the local diner snuggled in the heart of town, where oddly enough, he suggested because it's less populated than some of the others in town. I wondered briefly why on earth he would suggest it but figured I would find out soon enough.

I basically skipped the whole way through the house while I was getting ready. Not that I was obnoxiously blaring something embarrassing, like the Jonas Brothers, or anything. And not that I really needed to get ready. I am a guy, after all. No twenty pounds of makeup needed here. But I must admit I probably spent more time than I should have picking out the right shirt, jeans, making sure my hair was just right… It was times like this I was glad my parents worked weekends. I definitely didn't need them to witness this.

I did eventually stop nitpicking about my appearance and left for the diner. I tried to calm myself down instead of psyching myself out but it didn't work. I was ecstatic as fuck. When I finally walked through those chiming doors, though, it bolted through the roof. He was just so gorgeous. And he was waiting for me. ME. I thought that if I prayed just this one time, _please don't let this be too good to be true_, that maybe it would work. I hoped with all I had that it wasn't. He waved me over, using that huge dimpled grin that always bowled me over with how amazing it was. I took my seat, and ordered a coffee. I just ordered a double double, instead of my regular triple triple, because I figured I didn't need the excess of sugar today. I was already on a much better, more fulfilling high. Who needed sugar when I had this guy sitting across from me? I was smitten.

We talked about all sorts of things: what classes we both had, what our favourite music was (I may have omitted the Jonas Brothers for fear of sounding like a douche), what we liked to do in our spare time, all sorts of things. All in all, I think we both had a good time. He agreed to meet up like this again some time. I was internally jumping for joy. I was a bit miffed that I didn't find out exactly what his intentions were, but at this point I didn't even care anymore. There would be more getting to know each other to be done later. At least, I hoped so. It vas the very least I could do.

The next day, Jacob came over. I swooned about Emmett to him, and he laughed at me. He told me I was twitterpated. I didn't disagree. We went downtown and smoked a joint on the steps of city hall. I didn't smoke half as much this time. He teased me up and down for it, calling me out on the fact I didn't want to look like a giggling douchebag this time. I didn't disagree with that either. We were making fun of each other and laughing our asses off when I saw a familiar shape out of the corner of my eye. It was Emmett. I introduced him to Jacob, and vice versa. Jacob made up some pathetic excuse about how he had to go pick up his sister or something. I knew he did it just so he could leave us two alone. I'd have to thank him for it later. I hoped Emmett didn't notice, but if he did, he didn't mention it. He just said, "Shall we?" and motioned toward the diner. Again, we were alone in the diner. But this time something seemed different; off. He was fidgeting. And I was getting worried. I was about to sink into my seat, and will myself to disappear into some as-yet-unknown black hole, but he spoke.

"Look… I know you like me." I began to sink. Here comes the famous '_I'm not like that' _speech. A million years could have passed by in the silence. "And I like you too." I looked up at him from under my eyelashes. What? Did he really just say that?

He looked at me pointedly. "I know about you. It's hard not to know. Everyone knows everyone's business around here. It's disgusting." I nodded, without even knowing I was doing so. "That's why I choose to come here with you." I think he noticed I started to sink back down again because he added, "I'm not ashamed to be seen with you… I just wanted some privacy." I couldn't tell if I was happy or not. I began chewing my lip out of nervousness, but stopped shortly thereafter. I decided it best I stopped before I bit the thing right off. I was _really _nervous. I wondered if he enjoyed watching me squirm.

"Here's the thing…" He glanced around the room as if the empty tables and chairs were listening in on us, ready to point fingers and laugh at us uncontrollably. "I have this… girl." Back to the sinking again. "I really like you though." Could this guy be serious? One minute he lays something fantastical on me, and the next he makes me feel like shit again. This is insanity. I didn't know if I could take it anymore. But of course I stayed. I'd have been stupid not to. He sighed. "I know this sounds really lame and everything…" You got that right. But I'm still listening. "…But I'd still like to be friends and stuff. I just can't… be more than that right now. Because that would cause a lot of problems. And I really don't need that. Do you understand?"

Is that my heart on the floor? No? Just ketchup? Because it feels like he just tore my heart out. This beautiful, perfect, gorgeous sculpture of a man in front of me just gave me the '_I like you, but let's just be friends'_ speech because of a freaking girl. I feel like shit. Yet somehow I still feel drawn to him like white on rice. How is this even possible? I must be a sucker for punishment. He continued. "I hope this all makes sense. I just… I knew from the moment I saw you that I wanted you. I needed to talk to you." For fucking real? "…I guess I would rather have you be my friend than nothing at all. It's taking all the power I have in me not to take you home right this second, but I can't." Ouch. Awesome, but ouch.

And just to drive the nail into the coffin that is my life, he told me, "I have to go soon. She's probably waiting for me. She's going to be pissed as hell."

It was then that I decided I was going to do everything in my power to get rid of this bitch.

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**So there you go. Please review :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**So I ~promised miss LadyEmJazz I'd have this chapter up today... So here it is.  
Hopefully this fills your angst quota :P Not that I'm anywhere near finished making this poor boy angst. Kid's friggin emo as hale.**

**Don't own Twilight, don't want to. Don't own the song, wouldn't mind to. I do own Emmett and Jasper though, they're chained to my bed ;)**

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Weeks had gone by since the day at the diner. I gathered he was one of those "bad boys" that skipped school constantly. It didn't coincide well with my massive hard on for him. It's hard to have a crush on someone when you don't see them for weeks on end. But somehow I still did. I think it was mostly the impact of what he'd said to me the last time we were with each other. He wanted to take me home? Was that even real? I couldn't remember if it actually happened or if it was just some silly fleeting daydream. But then he had to go and mention this… _girl_… this one thing that was preventing us from moving forward. If we even would at all. But yet I pressed on. I would do whatever it took to get rid of her, aside from killing her, because well, that shit's illegal and I don't think I could hurt a fly if I wanted to. I couldn't believe myself. I wanted to be rid of this girl. I'd never even met her! I had no clue if it was the same girl I saw with him in the summer, but I didn't care. Whoever this girl was that was getting in my way, she needed to get the fuck out. I'd make him cheat on her with me, or dump her, or something. I didn't know what I was going to do. I just had to do _something_.

I caught sight of him one weekend when I was out with Jacob and Angela in the park. We were all sitting around at a picnic table, talking about silly teenage stuff when I saw him and the girl in question walk by. I froze up immediately. Jacob and Angela were too busy laughing about something… I didn't even know what it was at this point. I had tunnel vision. It was a different girl than the one in the summer, but I knew who it was. Her name was Rosalie. She was in a few of my classes last year, at least before she dropped out. She was a miserable bitch. She never spoke a single word to me, but she would pick on Angela a lot. And for that, I hated her. Why anyone would want to hurt Angela, I had no idea. She'd never hurt anyone. So many times I'd hugged her, trying my best to comfort her, to stop her never ending flow of tears. Anyway. Emmett noticed me staring, and he stared back. He was wearing a sad expression on his face. I wondered why. I heard Rosalie shriek at him to hurry the hell up, and figured that must have been it. Why would he even want to be with this broad? She was treating him like a lost puppy. It was disgusting. I could treat him ten times better. And I promised myself I would. If only I could get just a little bit closer… If only he would just come back to school. How had this guy not gotten expelled yet? I hadn't skipped school a day in my life. I was afraid my parents would find out. My dad was chief of police. My mom was a waitress, in another diner on the other side of town. Thank god. But if I'd even attempted to skip school, I'm sure one of them would have caught me. I'd probably be grounded for a month.

He called me up that Saturday evening, asking if I wanted to hang out or something. Seriously? If only he knew just how lame my life was. When was the last time I had something planned on a Saturday night? I could hardly draw it to memory. I think it was back before I came out to my friends. It seemed like such a long time ago. My parents were out of town, so I threw a party. It wasn't a party, per se, it was more of a get together, but it was more people than I normally would have over at any one given time. Now a 'party' consists of me, Angela and Jacob. That night I had Jake, Angela, Jessica, Mike, Lauren and Eric. We all got hammered. Mike and Jessica disappeared into the bathroom together, Eric burnt a hole in my mom's Egyptian rug with his joint. Jake got the munchies and finished off all the canned ravioli my parents left for me. Angela was just drinking her strawberry flavoured wine cooler, soaking it all in. Lauren spent most of the time on the phone with some guy. We all laughed at Mike and Jessica when they finally emerged from the bathroom. As if we wouldn't know what they were doing in there. Her hair was a disaster, and their faces were flush. It was a good night. I kind of miss them. It sucks how people change when you tell them things they don't want to hear.

But that was a long time ago, and now most of my weekends I spent alone, unless I was with Jake or Angela. But they were both busy tonight, so I agreed to go out with Emmett. Not that it took much arm-twisting. I revelled in spending more time with him. Since he clearly was never at school.

We met at the park. It was already dark, and we were alone. It was just me and him, sitting across from each other on a dirty wooden picnic bench covered in graffiti. He told me he still really liked me a lot. He was trying not to hurt me. He just didn't want to hurt Rosalie, either. I think he could tell I was a little put out by that, because he took my hand. It took me by surprise, so much that I jerked my hand back. He took that as a sign I didn't like it. So I reached my hand back out and took hold of his again, and looked him in the eyes. He flashed me another one of those adorable smiles. How was this even happening to me? I don't even know. He told me he liked hanging out with me, but that he can't really act on his wishes because he hasn't come out to anyone yet. I'm the first one he's told. And he still loves Rosalie, even though she treats him like crap. I rolled my eyes at him. I told him I could treat him a hundred times better. He replied by saying that he hoped he can find out some day soon. She doesn't really love him. He complained that he was just a rebound to her. She just kept him tightly wound around that little pinkie finger of hers, I guess. He spent a few minutes just staring off into the distance. I wondered what he was thinking. When he snapped out of it, he stood up, and motioned for us to leave. He took me over to a friend's of his and we got high while watching some random show on the television. His friend was busy in another room so he kept flirting with me. It was tearing me apart inside. He was laying all the charm on me but basically being untouchable at the same time. I was going stir crazy. When was I going to be able to have this guy? It seemed I was just attracted to him more and more as every second passed, even if it seemed that at the same time it was getting harder every day just to be near him. It was a constant struggle. I don't know why, but I felt like I was going to lose him with every passing second, and that made me only try to hold on even tighter.

It didn't work.

His cell phone rang at that moment. It was _her._ I huffed to myself and crossed my arms. I am never going to get a break. He saw my pout and looked at me apologetically, setting a hand on my knee. As if that was supposed to make me forgive him for this rollercoaster of signals he was sending me. The sick thing is, I already did. He got off the phone with her rather quickly, unfortunately not without telling her first that he loved her. I wished someone would just get it over with and just drive the stake through my heart already. All this twisting of it was just making the pain worse. He stood up, holding out his hand to me. "Sorry about that… she wants me to meet her downtown. Walk me to the end of the street?" I looked up at him, not wanting to say yes. I wanted to slap him silly and give him shit for putting me through all this torture. But I didn't. I mustered up the best smile I could make at the time, which wasn't much, and reached for his hand. He helped me up, and as we were leaving, he called out to his seemingly-invisible friend that we were leaving. The other room echoed a muffled "See you later!" and we left. He stopped holding my hand when we got outside. I just stuffed my hands into my sweater pockets. We didn't speak much until we got to the corner of the street. He stopped me, and turned me toward him. "I'm… sorry I keep doing this to you. I really do want to hang out with you. I probably sound like such a huge jackass right now. But… If you want me to, I'll call you later tonight. Is that alright?" I felt my cheeks flush; my heart was pounding a million times a minute. It felt like a jackhammer. I nodded. "Thank you." he said, and he leant over to kiss my cheek. And all my bad feelings floated away into space.

I was smiling like an asshole the whole way home. I did my best at erasing it before I got home, so as to not get the third degree from my mother. I didn't really need to be throttled with questions about if I met a new girl or something. I had only ever came out to my friends. My parents had caught wind of the rumour, but I just shook it off as simply that, and that the kids at my school were jerks. They left it alone after that. I was glad, because I wasn't prepared for whatever reaction they would have given me. I wasn't sure if they'd be happy, angry, sad… so I figured I'd spare them the whole ordeal. I ate my dinner quietly, and immediately retreated into my room afterwards. A few hours later, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Phone call for you, Jasper," my mom called to me through the door. I was so confused. Weren't Jacob and Angela busy tonight? Was everything okay? Oh, right! How could I even forget. Emmett promised to call me tonight. I must have been really into that history assignment. "Thanks, mom." I said as I quickly retrieved the phone from her and shut my door again.

"Hello?" I answered the phone, trying not to sound too excited that he actually remembered to phone me. This whole ordeal was still so surprising to me. It had to be too good to be true. It had to be. He answered. "Are you able to come back out tonight? I need to talk to you." My smile quickly dropped, and I started to worry. "What's wrong? Emmett? Is everything okay?" I asked, afraid of the answer. A million conclusions ran through my mind all at once.

"My parents want to send me to boarding school. In Phoenix." Except for that. My world skidded to a halt.

I knew this was all too good to be true.

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**please review:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Blargh. Okay. ****Jasper-being-an-emo-little-shit warning. I love him, I really do, but man. Sometimes I think I get off a little *too* much on angst..**

**I don't own anything. **

**But I wouldn't mind owning some ice cream, ngl.**

**Also, sorry for the delay... This chapter didn't want to be published, no sir. But I demanded it to be, so here it is. And thanks for the reviews, you guys are awesomesauce!**

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I agreed to meet Emmett downtown outside our diner in about fifteen minutes. I hung up the phone and slid down the back of my door, lifeless. I ran my hands through my hair, taking hold of some curly blonde locks in my fists and lost it as silently as I could, so as to not alert my parents what was going on in their son's bedroom. I was devastated. Was this the last time I'd ever see him? How far away was Phoenix from Forks anyway? I'd do whatever I could to go see him. I didn't care if I'd only met this guy a few weeks ago. I'd get a part time job after school and save up to fly down there to see him. I choked out a few more sobs before burying my face in my hands. Why was I losing it like this? Why was I so involved with this guy? I was head over heels crazy for him yet I didn't even know if we were going to go anywhere with all of this madness anyway. I didn't know the answer to all these questions. All I knew is that I had to get it together quick and go to him. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and looked in the mirror. I had to slip out of the house without my parents seeing me. My eyes were already bloodshot. My mom would ask me a million questions before I was even let out of the house, and Emmett would probably think I stood him up. I could never do that to him. I sharply breathed in one last silent sob, my eyes burning and still watery, and slid out of my room as quietly and quickly as I could. Good. My parents were in the living room watching one of their nightly TV shows. I was safe. "Bye, going out, be back later!" I called out. "Be home before midnight, Jasper. Love you," my mom called back to me. Seventeen years old and my mom still put a curfew on me. So overprotective, that woman. At least I had lots of time.

I didn't give a damn if I was being rational in doing this, in being so invested in him. I just wanted to get to him as fast as I could. I felt like if I took even a second too long that my chance would be over; that I would wake up from this and find out it was nothing but a dream. I hurried down the street as fast as I could, the slush from the snow piled on the sidewalk sloshing under my feet, dampening the hems of my jeans. Racing against the non-existent clock, I turned down the street towards the diner. I saw his dark frame sitting on a bench out front. I shivered, even though I wasn't really that cold; the adrenaline pumping through my veins keeping me warm, and I picked up my pace. I felt like I would trip over my own feet if I were to go any faster, but I needed to. Every second counted. And finally, I was there. He turned, and stood before me. We just stood there in the dark, inches away from each other, just staring into each others eyes with uncertainty and need reflected in our eyes. It could have been minutes or hours before either one of us spoke. I wasn't keeping track. He broke the silence.

"I… don't know for sure if I'm leaving or not… But I figured you'd want to know." I furrowed my brows at this. Why was he getting sent away? Why Phoenix? What was there? Why was he telling me? Did I really mean that much to him? What was going on? I noticed creases forming in the corners of his eyes and wondered why, until I realized I was wondering all of these things aloud, and he was laughing at me. "Slow down, man… You're gonna run out of breath." he said, and then his face got serious. "My parents want to send me to Phoenix to straighten me out. My sister told them I've been skipping school, among other things. She's a little goody-two-shoes. If they send me there, I'll be living with my older brother. He and his wife still live there. That's where I lived before here. And I'm telling you because I figured you'd want to know. And because I _wanted_ you to know. I told you, I've wanted you since the first day I saw you." He finished, and looked at me. I melted, despite the circumstances. "Thank you," I said. He told me his parents were real professional types who didn't have the time or patience for a rebellious kid like him. I asked him why he didn't just smarten up. He told me it was just the way he was. I sucked in a huge breath, trying not to tear up. I clenched my jaw as tight as I could. It seemed to help. But not much, because I felt my eyes starting to burn. He told me he'd probably be spending the entire day tomorrow discussing plans with his parents, so he'd call that night around eight or nine no matter what the verdict was. So all I had was right now, this moment. This might be the last time I saw him. He looked down, and took my hand. He told me if he got to stay he'd come see me. Oh god, I hoped he was able to stay. Please don't take this away from me, not now. He brought me closer. I could feel his warm breath on my face as I looked up at him. Both our eyes were glassy with tears yet neither of us had started yet. He took in a sharp breath and exhaled quickly. "I… better let you go. Both of our parents are probably wondering where we are. I'll call you… I'll… miss you." He took me into a deep embrace and nearly knocked the wind out of me. I didn't protest. He could have squeezed the very life out of me and it wouldn't have mattered. I'd have preferred that over the knockout all of this information provided me with. It would have hurt much less. "Bye, Jasper." he said, before loosening his grip on me. He turned away, and left. I just stood there watching after him, my hands at my side, my jaw still clenched so tight it felt like I'd crush all my teeth to powder if I pressed any harder. I didn't care about that either. Why didn't I kiss him? Damn it. That could have been the last time I'd ever see him and I didn't even try to kiss him. Stupid. I watched his dark shadow until I couldn't see him anymore, and then I turned to go back home. I beat myself up the whole way home, thinking I should have said different things, thinking I should have kissed him, thinking I should have just let him take me right there on that bench, all sorts of different possibilities that I could've, should've, would've. My hand trembled as I reached for the doorknob. I opened the door as quietly as I could. My parents didn't greet me. They must be asleep already. I didn't even check to see what time it was. I just wanted to get to my room. I would deal with my mom tomorrow if I was late. I bolted to my room and shut the door. It was then, that I finally broke down. I collapsed against the doorframe, assuming fetal position crouched on the floor, crying into the mirror that was hung on the backside of the door. I didn't even care if my parents heard me anymore. I grasped at nothing, at the air, balling my fists up in anger against the door. I could have been there for hours, I don't even know. My whole face was soaking wet with tears, and I was so stuffy I could no longer breathe properly. I buried my face into my knees and just kept on going, squeezing my stinging eyes shut as hard as I could as if it would make this all go away. My heart felt so heavy in my chest that I thought it would fall out. Eventually I slowly crawled my way over to my bed and climbed in, leaving the light on. I didn't even care. I curled up into the smallest ball I possibly could and cried myself to sleep.

When I awoke, I had no idea what time it was. All I knew was that it was daylight still. I lethargically slid out of bed, glancing at the alarm clock. Noon. That's it? I was about ready to jump back into bed and sleep the day away until Emmett called. But I didn't. I wasn't tired anymore, and that would have been too easy. I stood, and made my way over to my mirror to check the damage. I hardly recognized myself. My eyes were bloodshot, and puffy. My cheeks were stained with salty streaks, streaming down towards my chin. My hair was messy and dishevelled, like I'd been caught in a vicious tornado. I felt like I had been. My sleeves were wet and tear-stained, as was my pillow. At least I'd have something to do to try to get my mind off things today. I'd have a shower, and do some laundry. After that… I wasn't so sure if I could hold it together.

I stood in the shower for what must have been an eternity. I was dead, lifeless; a zombie. I just stared, inanimate, at the same crack in the tile. I started to cry again. I didn't care if it made any sense. I didn't care if I hardly knew this guy, or that it was probably considered mentally unstable, or unhealthy of me to be crying over him like this, or if any of this would mean anything at the end of the day. I just did. And it was pointless. After all, tears in the rain are a waste. I snapped out of it then; grabbing my body wash and lathering it everywhere. I washed all my sadness away. Not really, but not for lack of trying.

Satisfied that I was probably cleaner than humanly possible, I emerged. I mindlessly filtered around the house, doing small chores. For two reasons: To suck up to my mom in case I was late last night; and to get my mind off of Emmett. Mostly to keep my mind off of Emmett. I vacuumed, I did the dishes, I scrubbed the washroom, I dusted the cabinets. I even cleaned my room. That took up a lot of time. I was happy for that. But now I had no idea where anything was. Typical. I looked at the clock. 4pm. Still had too much time to waste. What now?

I figured I could call up Angela and spend some time at her place and be back home before Emmett called. She was always good at comforting people, and had a mean collection of movies. Their house was like a movie store. That, and her parents were super nice and loved having me over. I swear, her family was the sweetest bunch of people I'd ever encountered. I had a sneaking suspicion Angela told them I came out. They were even nicer to me after that, if that's even possible. I left a note for my parents telling them where I would be, and headed out.

When I reached Angela's, she opened the door mid-knock. I basically threw myself into her arms, the tears flowing again. I told myself I wouldn't do it the whole way there, but did it anyway. I scolded myself in my mind repeatedly for acting like such an emo bastard in front of her. She just smiled at me though, with her sweet innocent Angela smile, and helped calm me down, with help from her mom. Angela told me she'd be back in a minute, and went down into the basement while her mom poured me some chocolate milk. I wondered what she was doing, until she came back up the stairs producing a giant bucket of cookie dough ice cream. I knew I loved this girl for a reason. "Girls night?" she asked me, as she held a spoon in front of me, her thick black ponytail bouncing gleefully. I laughed, and nodded. She took way too much pleasure out of this whole having a gay guy for a best friend thing.

We watched The Notebook first; I was a little hesitant at the idea. I certainly did not want to cry anymore, but after a little coaxing I finally surrendered. I still cried, but at least it was for a different reason. And afterward, to my surprise, I felt a lot better. I can't say the same about Angela and her mom though. I had to hand them my box of Kleenex. After that we mutually decided to watch Camp Rock. That was better. No tears for that one. And I almost forgot about Emmett. Almost.

Because, while we were all debating which Jonas Brother was cuter, the phone rang. Angela's mom picked it up, looked puzzled for a minute, and looked at me. "It's for you." she said.

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**So, I basically wish Angela was my best friend. And Jasper, obviously. They're so frickin' cute. Next chapter coming soon... a lot sooner than this one was. :|**


	5. Chapter 5

**Not much to say for this chapter, I don't think. Hmm. Oh. I realize this chapter is super short. But I refuse to write filler sentences. So, a short chapter you will recieve.**

**Still don't own anything, though I keep trying to will Emmett & Jasper to exist, but to no avail. *le sigh***

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Time stood still. I could literally feel the earth balancing on its axis, swaying to and fro, threatening to fall from its delicate pedestal and smash into pieces like a globe plummeting to its doom from atop the shelf.

I ran to the phone, clutching it tightly in my white-knuckled grip as though it might disappear into a cloud of smoke. "Hello?" I answered. It was Emmett. Each second passed by as if each one were its own miniature year. Tears began to form in my eyes again and I wiped them away before they could complete their journey from my ducts down my cheeks again. Then it happened. He told me he wasn't leaving. I was so shocked he had to repeat himself twice. He asked if he was able to come see me. I covered the receiver of the phone and looked over at Angela's mom pleadingly. "Um… Mrs. Weber? Is it okay if Emmett comes over?" She just smiled and nodded. Why couldn't my parents be this easygoing? Christ. Maybe they would adopt me. I gave him the directions, and he told me he'd be there within the hour, and we hung up. I may or may not have squealed like a little girl, and just about squeezed the life out of Angela.

Angela's mom soon went to bed, telling me that we could spend the night in the family room in the basement. There were a couple pullout couches down there, as well as a big screen, some gaming systems, even more movies and a foosball table. Angela waited with me upstairs for a while. I apologized to her for acting like such an emo fuck. She laughed at me and shrugged it off. She told me she didn't mind as it was cute seeing me all head over heels for some boy but also told me to just be careful because she knows I'm easily hurt. I told her I'd do my best. I think it was already too late for that. I was already in too deep. She soon got up to leave for her room, giving my hand a tight squeeze. She wanted give us our privacy when he finally showed up.

It seemed like I was waiting forever, when I heard the faint knocking on the door. I opened the door, and there he was. A dream come true. It was then I made the decision I'd been pondering on since I got off the phone with him. It was an easy decision to make. I lunged forward at him, almost knocking him over, and before he knew what hit him my lips crashed onto his and my fingers were running through his hair. He soon broke free of my kiss, and breathed, "Let's go in. It's cold out here," and my lips were hastily locked on his again. While my tongue was still exploring his mouth, I carefully manoeuvred ourselves back into the house and stealthily closed the front door. I led him to the basement door, walking backwards the whole time, and finally broke free of the kiss at the top of the stairs.

We headed down the stairs, and while he was looking around, distracted by all the gizmos the Weber's had arranged around the room, I quickly pulled out one of the couches to form a bed. I pushed him onto the bed, and climbed on top of him, tasting his lips again. He looked into my eyes, and gasped for air. "Happy to see me?" He exhaled. I just smiled and plunged my tongue back into his mouth, dancing it across his teeth. I'm pretty sure that answered his question. We stayed like that for what was probably hours. I lost all track of time, and I didn't care. I'd never been so happy. Suddenly he thrust his arms around me and flipped us so that I was the one on my back. I began tugging on his shirt, trying to tell him I wanted to go further. He stopped kissing me then; and pulled his shirt over his chest and tossed it carelessly on the floor. I repeated the motion. I palmed one hand all over his now bare chest and used the other one to undo his fly. He worked on mine. We rid ourselves of our jeans and were now down to just boxers. I grabbed him by the ass and pulled him closer to me so I could feel him through the flimsy fabric. We lay like that, kissing and grinding and writhing against each other until we could take it no longer. We disposed of the last bit of clothing that was keeping us separate and pressed ourselves to each other, skin on glorious skin. My curious hands wandered all over his skin, desperate to learn his muscles, his body; digging my fingernails in so as to hold on just a little bit tighter, should the moment be a figment of my imagination. But it wasn't. He nipped at my neck then, proving this very point to me. I moaned in pleasure and thrust my hips into his. He paused for a moment, looking at me, his eyes hooded with lust. "Are you sure you want me to-" I cut him off. "Yes," I said urgently, my breath heavy. "Now." I begged, trying to pull him even closer still. I wanted him. Badly. At that point he slowly entered me and I whined in pleasure laced with pain. He moved slow, to ensure maximum comfort, constantly checking my face to make sure I was okay. For hours on end we were a mesh of skin and sweat, legs tangled. We writhed into each other, hands roaming each other's bodies hungrily until we finally collapsed, out of breath; our faces hot. He slid off of me, turning on his back. I looked at him. "I'm so glad you got to stay." I panted. "Me too." He replied.

And we fell asleep in each others arms.

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***blush* so uh yeah. I have ~zero~ experience in writing that kind of stuff. Hope you liked it, missy. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. *points obnoxiously***


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